What We’re Longing For
Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty.
— Mother Teresa
Strong relationships are a crucial part of living a full and meaningful life. Without human connection, we feel empty, sad, and depleted. Just knowing we have someone in our corner soothes our primal need to belong and feel protected.
Those primal needs are the very thing many of us missed out on as we sheltered in place for COVID-19. As we get back into the swing of life, we won’t soon take for granted the small interactions that meant so much to us during quarantine: waving to neighbors, or small conversations with the mail delivery person.
Brené Brown talks about connection this way: “Connection is the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgement; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.”
As we live in our “new normal” after COVID-19, it’s important to look for opportunities to truly connect with others.
We can have connection and closeness with others, but in order to connect well, we must:
Listen.
We must listen with an open heart and the intent to truly understand. We all know what it feels like when someone feigns listening while they’re just looking for the perfect response. We must be slow to speak while we listen to the pain of others (without being defensive). It’s okay if you have a different perspective.
Show up.
Friends, we can’t do life alone. That means we have to show up in order to connect. That doesn’t mean it’s going to be easy. In fact, there may be conflict at times. My encouragement to you is to push through the conflict. Don’t give up . . . there is intimacy on the other side.
Be vulnerable.
Without vulnerability, we can’t truly be seen. And if we can’t be seen, we can’t truly be known. So, let your guard down. Let your layers of defensiveness and walls of protection down. Sure, they may have served you well over the years, but those walls will eventually get in the way of true connection.
Connection isn’t easy. It’s going to take hard work, energy, and lots of time. But in order to live the meaningful and full life we all desire, we have to be willing to listen, show up, and let our walls down.
Now tell me, what was your biggest insight?
Let me know in the comments below!
You are amazing! Start living like it!
Kim Anderson is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC-MHSP) and a Certified Life Professional Coach (CPLC) who loves helping others live their lives with passion and purpose. She lives with her husband and two teenagers outside of Nashville, in Franklin, Tennessee, where she loves seasons, rolling hills, and the warmth of the South. Follow Kim at www.kimanderson.life, on Instagram @kim_anderson_life, and on Facebook@ KimAndersonLifeCoachingto learn more about what she offers.
