How We Are Stuck as a Nation

“People fail to get along because they fear each other; they fear each other because they don't know each other; they don't know each other because they have not communicated with each other.”

― Martin Luther King Jr. 

I am passionate about helping others get unstuck. Whether it’s emotionally, physically, relationally, financially, or any other domain of life, being stuck feels lousy. It creates angst and panic as we know we are created for more, but we don’t know how to get there. We build resentment, feel rage, or settle in apathy, because we feel hopeless and helpless. 

Well friends, we are currently stuck as a nation. It’s impossible to turn on the news, scroll through social media, or even hang out with friends, without experiencing conflict, contempt, rage, and debate. 

Dissension is high enough during election years, but you add in the stress of COVID, the social isolation of quarantine, recent racial tensions, and our nervous systems are stretched beyond our capacity. It’s no wonder that anxiety is rampant as we are confused and fearful about how to approach the problems and challenges we are facing as a nation. It’s no wonder that we are all extra amped up, but it’s not serving us.

President Lincoln wisely said, “A house divided against itself cannot stand.” And it’s true. We need each other. As humans, we are created for connection, and we’ve lost it. We need different points of view and different lenses. We all have unique stories and journeys and have very good reasons for why we believe what we do. We need to practice civil discourse, allowing us to live in harmony with each other, even when we disagree. 

Here are three ways (among many others) we can begin to get unstuck: 

1.     Stop the noise. 

Literally. Turn. It. Off. The news (every platform) makes money on fear, sensationalism, panic, and gloom. They need us to click on their headline and will do anything they can to lure us in. Want to worry? Just scroll through the latest headlines that assure us that the world is coming to an end tomorrow. Want to raise your blood pressure? Just turn on any news channel to hear how offensive the “other side” is. 

While you’re at it, get off social media, or at least minimize your time on it. It is intended to be that. Social. Debating via a SM platform doesn’t solve anything. “I’ve completely changed my thoughts, perspectives, and ingrained beliefs because of that article an acquaintance posted on Facebook” said no person ever.  If you feel your blood pressure rising while scrolling through your feed, it’s time to sign off.   

The news and social media forces us into our own silos of thought, leaving us feeling like it’s an “us vs. them” world. It’s not. We are more alike than the media wants us to believe. 

2.     Be curious about others.

“People fail to get along because they fear each other; they fear each other because they don't know each other; they don't know each other because they have not communicated with each other.”- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Our differences make us beautiful. We don’t have to be the same. We don’t even have to agree. When we know someone’s story, and understand their story, their reasons, and their passions, our defenses come down. We begin to find areas of connectedness, in spite of our differences. 

It’s easy to operate in herd mentality and feel like we need to adopt the thoughts and behaviors of those around us. It makes us feel safe and protected to know we aren’t alone. Instead, be curious. Listen more than you speak. Have a discussion with someone who is different than you. Seek to understand, even if you disagree. Judging and assuming is never helpful. We are so much more than the people we vote for, the political party we align with, the neighborhood we live in, or the job we work at. 

3.     Embrace discord. 

It’s okay to disagree. We don’t want to be a nation of robots. Critical thinking is crucial. Just because someone voted for someone you don’t like doesn’t make them a threat. Just because someone would tackle a problem differently than you doesn’t make them a bad person. Looking at life through a lens of polarity keeps us stuck. 

Nashville Pastor, Scott Sauls, says it best in his new book, A Gentle Answer, “Because Jesus covered all of our offenses, we can be among the least offensive and least offended people in the world. This is the way of the gentle answer.”

2020 has already been a long year, and with the election in November and COVID still present, it’s going to feel even longer. Let’s do ourselves a favor, and choose to come together, listen to each other, and encourage each other. We were never meant to walk alone. We are in this together. 

Now tell me, in which way do you want to begin to get unstuck?

Let me know in the comments below!

You are amazing! Start living like it!

Kim Anderson is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC-MHSP) and a Certified Life Professional Coach (CPLC) who loves helping others live their lives with passion and purpose. She lives with her husband and two teenagers outside of Nashville, in Franklin, Tennessee, where she loves seasons, rolling hills, and the warmth of the South. Follow Kim at www.kimanderson.life, on Instagram @kim_anderson_life, and on Facebook@ KimAndersonLifeCoachingto learn more about what she offers.