Creating Boundaries as A Mom
As mothers, we are pulled in every direction. Now that things are opening back up and life is resuming its rhythm, our calendars are filling to the brim once again.
There are catch-up dinners with friends to be had. Practices to run kids to. Homework to help with. Family functions to attend. PTA meetings to run. Games to cheer at. Travel to resume.
The list is endless.
But as we resume our Mom-life to some sort of normalcy, it’s critical for us to set healthy boundaries. When we do, we thrive in our personal lives and in our relationships with others. No longer will we feel trapped by the “shoulds” or “have-to’s” we often convince ourselves of. I know I’m not the only one who has had to learn this lesson. I admit that, as a recovering people-pleaser, I really struggle with saying no. I want to make others happy and avoid disappointing anyone, especially those I love. However, now I can recognize when I get into that people-pleasing space and am saying yes when I shouldn’t.
Moms, we can feel less stress and more joy when we say "no" to the unimportant things and "yes" to the most important things in these three areas:
SET BOUNDARIES WITH YOURSELF
Taking care of ourselves is the most important place to start. We can't give from an empty cup. If we're not getting sleep, eating food that fuels and energizes us, moving our bodies, recharging our emotional battery with peace and quiet, and taking care of our own emotional well-being, we aren't taking care of those we love well. If we're feeling overwhelmed and neglecting our own self-care, our families are feeling it. They are getting the worst of us, instead of the best of us. Make your self-care a priority. It's your job to take care of yourself. No one else will do it for you.
SET BOUNDARIES WITH YOUR RELATIONSHIPS
You might have the best, most amazing friends, or the best, most amazing family ever, but if they are getting in the way of your own families' rhythm, routine, structure, or balance, it might be time to set some boundaries. It might be setting parameters around which social gatherings you say yes to for a short season. It might be explaining you can't be at every family gathering as you try to balance your own family's life. It might be that you have to disappoint people. And that’s okay! It’s hard but it might just be the healthiest thing for you.
SET BOUNDARIES WITH YOUR SCHEDULE
You might love all the people and all the things, but if your family is running on empty because there's no margin in your family's schedule, it's time to cut back. Say yes to the most important things. Say no to everything else. I know how difficult it can be to say no (see above- it's okay to disappoint people). You get to choose between disappointing others or running a family in chaos and stress, which isn't good for anyone. If boundaries are difficult for you, practice some simple ways to have your boundaries answer ready to go.
The world we live in is overwhelming, and it's our job to make sure our family is working at a manageable pace for everyone. Our kids need us to take care of ourselves, create healthy relationships, and maintain margin in our schedule.
Are you feeling the stress and chaos of life without clear boundaries? If so, jump on the waitlist for my next Get Unstuck Group Coaching, where we tackle the boundary challenges showing up in our lives!
You are amazing! Start living like it!
Kim Anderson is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC-MHSP) and a Certified Life Professional Coach (CPLC) who loves helping others live their lives with passion and purpose. She lives with her husband and two teenagers outside of Nashville, in Franklin, Tennessee, where she loves seasons, rolling hills, and the warmth of the South. Follow Kim at www.kimanderson.life, on Instagram @kim_anderson_life, and on Facebook@ KimAndersonLifeCoachingto learn more about what she offers.
