What Does it Mean to Find Your People?

I grew up as the daughter of a Secret Service agent. Yup. You read that correctly. My dad was a Secret Service agent. Which meant my childhood was a little bit different than most: White House Christmas parties, President introductions, seeing my Dad on TV, the works.

As you can imagine, I LOVED bringing my Dad in for Career Day. 

All of the other kids thought it was so amazing that he could tell the difference between a regular bill and a counterfeit one (bet you didn’t know that the Secret Service deals with more than just protection?!) 

They also thought it was neat that he would show up on the news with the President and be standing in the background with a serious look. We always chuckled at his serious "Secret Service face.” 

While there were many interesting stories that came out of his job, one of the challenges we faced as a family was moving every two to three years. When you work for the government, chances are you are moving to advance your career. 

As a child, I remember thinking that I would never do that to my children. I would marry someone that allowed me to raise my children in the same school and same town. 

Spoiler Alert: I ended up eating my words. Never say never. 

I fell in love with a Navy pilot.

Moving is integral to military life too. And, you move often. Looking back, I know I wouldn't trade my military experience for anything. We met lifelong friends and we were there for each other the way that you would hope when your spouses are deployed for long periods of time. 

But it’s hard. It can be very lonely.

Being someone that moved around a lot her whole life, I know how crucial it is to have a community. How imperative it is to have your “people.” Community is the net that catches us when we are falling. It is the glue that can keep our emotions from coming unraveled. It is the blanket that wraps around us when we are emotionally cold.

The challenge in today's world is finding community, especially during a pandemic. 

What Does Finding Community Look Like?

Finding community looks like having people in your life that know you and care about you. It doesn’t have to be a large group, sometimes it’s one or two people. It’s about quality over quantity. You want to build relationships and friendships with people who will walk with you through life’s hard seasons and will love you for who you are. Community can be a hard concept for a lot of people because it requires intention and vulnerability. But, my friends (see what I just did there?!) the benefits of having community are so much greater than the struggles of life walking alone. 

What Does it Take? 

In order to find community, we need to show up. We need to be open. We must be vulnerable. In a world full of masks, we need to be willing to take ours off. We also want to make sure we’re around others who are willing to be real, authentic, and open as well. A fake community is not for you.

Where Do We Look? 

Pre-COVID, I would discourage you from finding your community online. But...now (I’m looking at you 2020), an online community might be your best, if not only, option. As things open up and life gets back to normal, though, do what you can to connect with others in person. Church groups, gym classes, book clubs, interest-area meet-ups, running groups, volunteer opportunities, and neighborhood gatherings, are all great places to start.

As a people, we are more disconnected from others than ever before, even though it appears that we have tons of "friends.” 

Be seen. Be heard. Be loved. It is all too easy to sit on your device, pretending to be connected in the world. We all need people who are with us, for us, and encouraging us. No one can do it alone. All successful people have a tribe around them. It can be a small tribe, or a big tribe.

Who is your tribe, and how can you encourage each other? Reach out today!

You’re amazing! Start living like it!

Kim Anderson is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC-MHSP) and a Certified Life Professional Coach (CPLC) who loves helping others live their lives with passion and purpose. She lives with her husband and two teenagers outside of Nashville, in Franklin, Tennessee, where she loves seasons, rolling hills, and the warmth of the South. Follow Kim at www.kimanderson.life, on Instagram @kim_anderson_life, and on Facebook@ KimAndersonLifeCoachingto learn more about what she offers.