How Comparison Contributes to Loneliness
We’ve all been there - You have some time to kill, so you pick up your phone. Without even thinking about it you “start the scroll” through social media and before you know it you have a pit in your stomach…
...“Oh my gosh, her new family picture is perfect.”
...“Her kid just made the honor roll. Again.”
...“She just got a brand new car”
...everyone else’s lives look so much better than yours. Not only do they look better, but you also start to tell yourself the lie that they have more friends and more fun. People like them more.
You can’t help but feel lonely.
Loneliness is at an all-time high right now, especially after the year we’ve just had. We’ve spent more time online watching other people’s lives than we’ve spent actually engaging IN other people’s lives.
So when the false narratives kick in, we make up stories about how things must be instead of really connecting to the truth and the realities of others.
In essence, we compare our lives to the lives we observe around us, and make up realities based on the life we see inside social media squares. This toxic pattern leads us straight to loneliness.
But, it doesn’t have to be this way.
Instead of sitting in loneliness, follow these three steps instead:
1. NOTICE THE AMOUNT OF TIME YOU SPEND ON SOCIAL MEDIA
Limit it - Timer, app limitations, reminder pop-ups, whatever it takes. Setting limits on the amount of time you’re spending on social media. Instead, swap it for people and human interaction to invest that time in.
2. NOTICE THE STORY YOU TELL YOURSELF ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE’S LIVES
Remember that you never know the private battle someone else is facing. Private things should be posted on social media. No one needs to be in anybody else's dirty laundry. Nothing's more awkward than watching people over-share their private challenges. You might tell yourself they have the "perfect" marriage, but just because it looks that way doesn't make it true.
We are all up against the same fight. We are all waking up each day, pushing up our sleeves, and fighting our unique challenges and obstacles.
3. NOTICE THE PROFILES OR ACCOUNTS THAT MAKE YOU FEEL LONELY
Unfollows are your friend! Keep your feed positive, encouraging, and full of people that make you feel known and seen.
It's okay to mute people. It's okay to unfollow people. You take care of you. If someone builds you up, keep them.
If you have a negative reaction in your gut to what someone post, ditch them.
I give you permission. :)
It’s understandable that so many of us are struggling with loneliness. Our world is more “connected” than ever, yet we are extremely isolated.
It’s understandable that we feel alone.
But, my friends, instead of buying the lie that you are alone, notice the areas in your life that contribute to your narrative.
Let go of comparison, limit necessary platforms, and celebrate you.
You are amazing! Start living like it!
Kim Anderson is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC-MHSP) and a Certified Life Professional Coach (CPLC) who loves helping others live their lives with passion and purpose. She lives with her husband and two teenagers outside of Nashville, in Franklin, Tennessee, where she loves seasons, rolling hills, and the warmth of the South. Follow Kim at www.kimanderson.life, on Instagram @kim_anderson_life, and on Facebook@ KimAndersonLifeCoachingto learn more about what she offers.
