I feel particularly compassionate toward moms who believe the lie that their kids define who they are. My heart hurts when moms take on their kids’ successes or failures as their own. I see it so often in my office and truthfully, there are times I have walked down that path myself. And let's be honest. It is so difficult not to.

This issue has only gotten worse in today’s world. Social comparison is ready and waiting the moment we open social media. It’s easy to say we aren’t affected, but I think we all may be on some level.

Since it is easy to get caught in this trap, I always like to remember what is true:

You’re busy. I get it. So am I. In a world where technology is supposed to save us time and create short cuts, the hustle seems more intense than ever. Oh, how I long to go back to days before cell phones and the internet. I think my brain would rest more. But . . . here we are, and technology is here to stay.

I have a question that might help with the hustle: are you workinghardor workingsmart? Being busy doesn’t mean you’re productive. Constant striving doesn’t guarantee you are going anywhere. Is it possible that you are spinning your wheels without accomplishing anything?

I can be the worst procrastinator. Truly. I know that sounds funny coming from a coach and counselor who helps others not toprocrastinate. Don’t look in the gardener’s garden. 

The truth is, I get overwhelmed with what I know I am called to do. The plans and dreams seem too big. I knew I was created to be a therapist, but for years, I put it off. I didn’t think I could do it. Going back to get my master’s degree felt overwhelming. During that season, my husband was often deployed with the military, and I was raising two little ones. The time never seemed right, and even though I felt it was clear, the challenge felt like too much.

I had the night all planned out. My husband was out of town, so I was going to put dinner away, get our son to bed, and spend the rest of my night writing. The discipline of writing does not come naturally to me, so I purposefully reserve blocks of time to work. And I needed the time. Every minute of it. 

As I was turning off the kitchen lights, feeling accomplished that my dishwasher was loaded and running, my teenage daughter asked if I would sit with her and watch Gilmore Girls. Gilmore Girls has been a fun opportunity for us to bond. She has already watched the entire series, but she is watching it again with me. 

My son, Luke, and I were on our way to his weekly guitar lesson and decided to stop by Taco Bell for some after-school nourishment.

It took Luke a while to decide what he wanted to order, but once he did, I started ordering through the intercom. I misspoke more than once and had to correct my order. The young man on the other side of the intercom was extremely patient and gracious with my errors.

Our daughter is an enthusiastic fan of the musical Hamilton. She has listened to the soundtrack relentlessly, memorizing every word. She has sung it for our family continuously, ensuring welearned every word. She has read books about Alexander Hamilton and books about the making of the play. She follows the cast on Instagram and knows their stories and families—really, anything they share publicly.

One of my favorite events of the year is a Mother + Daughter wellness retreat I plan with friend and personal trainer Jayne Chapuis. It is called Inside & Out and it is a great opportunity for mothers and daughters to bond, learn about their own unique personalities and ways to live a healthy lifestyle. It is such a gift to see moms and their tween and teen daughters connect and grow, away from the hurry and chaos of their regular lives.

A few weeks ago, I was getting ready to head out the door to work. I followed my usual routine. Shower. Make-up. Breakfast (while hair begins to dry in my Turbie Twist). Hair. 

Except this time, I was interrupted. I received a phone call and deviated from my standard routine. I had blown out the front and sides of my hair, but the phone call hijacked my normal order, and I completely left the back of my hair wet and stringy. My frizzy hair definitely needs a good blowout, or it looks like a bad perm!

It is said that truth is stranger than fiction, and, folks, I can't make this stuff up. 

I have written before about the epidemic of loneliness and how pervasive it is in our world today. So, of course, I had to read an article titled “How to Hire Fake Friends and Family” when I saw it posted by friend and amazing pastor, Scott Sauls (scottsauls.com).

I often regret the things that come out of my mouth. I am a verbal processor, and sometimes I don't realize how things sound until I hear them myself. And then . . . it's too late. I can't get them back. 

It's kind of like toothpaste. Once you've squeezed it out, it’s not going back in the tube. No matter how hard you try. 

There I was, sitting at the doctor's office, waiting to be seen. While waiting, I couldn't help but notice a mom with her young daughter, maybe ten years old, and teenage son, who shut out the world with his headphones. The daughter was coloring a picture and wanted her mom to see it.

When we value something, we treat it with care and compassion. We invest in it, admire it, and protect it from being compromised. Isn't it interesting that we protect other people or material items we value, but at times forget to protect ourselves? Ultimately, however, we can't value others well if we don't first value ourselves.